I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own
I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy’s eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing”
Now the old king is dead!
Long live the king!”
One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand…Coldplay
since about 1995, my life has consistently included computers. they have become integral with my daily living. since the early 2000’s, i traded the dating sites for information and networking sites and this propensity to live online has taken flight. i am a complete facebook cling-on, i have a profile on linkedin, i have both a twitter account and manage one for TEN. We have a TEN facebook page, and i have 4 blogs including one for TEN (oh and we are looking for additional bloggers for the TEN blog). in all this i have made friends, confidants, and supporters across the globe.
in 2007 a local gay men’s HIV networking organization names SIN (strength in numbers) came under my charge. i called on a friend i had met online to help me throw the 1st big party. his name is mark olmsted and he is a quirky artist and an insightful writer with a blog (how we met) called “The Trash Whisperer”. mark was in some very similar circumstances as me and his friendship offered me support and guidance when i was struggling to find it at home. i actually went to a sober roundup in provincetown to meet mark face-to-face. later he flew to Denver from LA (along with Bryan Sutherland- SIN founder) and Denver’s HIV community had a giggle and kick at Lannie’s.
another gentleman i met online goes by the name “willie”. willie was in his late 20’s when our paths (blogs) crossed. i was writing a blog called “kickin tina” about my early journey of recovery from addiction (specifically crystal meth). willie had been out on a particular new years eve and had been drinking heavily. he crashed his car into a tree and to my recollection – totalled it. he woke up on new year’s day and decided it was time to do something different and so he quit drinking. he has remained sober since. willie has lived in south africa, in taiwan, in missouri, and again in south africa through the years. his blog “enjoy your life cafe” has kept me informed of his whereabouts and his progress over the years. he remains charming and good-hearted to this day.
chris mecham- last chance texaco
the very first comment i got on my 1st blog was from a man who was getting ready to go to residential treatment for a while. his tone was drastic and his tempo was tweaked. he shortly thereafter shared that he had used at the bus station while he was waiting so he could hit for the last time. he created a blog of his own called “last chance texaco” and has been a bright light of recovery and personal insight since. we continue to share quips on fb, and i will always owe him a debt of gratitude. i remember being floored that someone was reading what i wrote.
through a fellow blogger richard kearns (now passed) i was introduced to jim pickett of chicago. jim is an ambassador for the chicago aids foundation and has become the microbicide czar for the planet. jim is a gay man who loves and respects other gay men and has been advocating globally for gay men’s health issues through his work with irma and their blog “lifelube”. richard sent jim a copy of a blog post i wrote in 2008 and jim published it. i have been an ardent and faithful admirer of his since then.
any hiv positive gay man with much online presence cannot miss the sensation that is brian finch from canada. he is a complete and total scream. he has been advocating for the rights of hiv positive folks in canada since at least the 90’s and has become an ambassador to other nations for his views and his savvy. he co-founded an hiv information and networking online magazine (“positive lite”) with several colleagues and in recent years taken up comedy and keeps himself and the people around him amused. (very much so i would bet). bryan has graciously allowed this newsletter to reprint several of his articles over the years. and he always keeps my heart light and my perspective tilted.
mark s king
also through my kickin tina blog, i came to know a devilish actor/writer named mark s king of atlanta. mark is also in recovery from meth addiction and has an amazing ability to deliver his ideas and experiences to readers in a sort of down-home let-me-tell-you-a-story sort of way. mark penned a book, writes for several sites including thebody.com, hosts his own blog- myfabulousdisease.com, and even does a drag queen in recovery act (quite smart actually) named anita mann. mark has also graced our newsletter with columns through the years of our publication and he has a small but really lovely set of vids on youtube. he remains one of the more entertaining online presences i can name.
finally, through facebook and a program called “strength over speed” i became acquainted with tony radovich . we don’t speak often, but we do share musical selections now and again on facebook. he has been actively involved in a 4 year samhsa grant for peer coaching for gay men (both poz and neg) who are looking to get their meth use under control. this still seems such an admirable venture, and tony is so very spiritual and full of kindness, that i am almost honored to have made his acquaintance.
these are a handful of individuals who have changed my life over the last 10 years. i needed support and i needed a change. i hadn’t met any of them, yet became very connected and shared ideas and support. there are many others- like frontiers la (hiv site), hivster, towleroad, ed negron and the work-in blog, bilerico, white crane, nelson vergel, thebody.com, and lady bunny to name a few. the internet – and online living has been part of a metamorphosis for me. somehow i have grown my life, stretched my heart, and fed my brain. and i did it all without an m4m site or a profile which asked my favorite sexual position. in no way, do i compare my self to my heros. their talent far outweighs what i might have. and these guys don’t comprise my dinner partners, or my movie dates. but they do remind me i might not be that crazy and that i am not alone as i work towards bettering my life. and they help me believe that it is okay to want a “better” world. here’s to 2013 my friends. i hope it’s a better world for us all.