Q. Are you saying that everyone who ends up addicted was traumatized or abused in childhood? A. No, I’m not; I am saying that all addictions come from emotional loss, and exist to soothe the pain resulting from that loss. Trauma and abuse, as we define them, are certainly surefire sources of loss but they’re far from the only ones. The human infant and toddler is a highly vulnerable creature, and emotional stresses of all kinds in the rearing environment can create long-lasting wounds in the psyche that a person will later try to soothe or numb with addictive behavior. In addition to things that do happen that shouldn’t happen, like abuse, there are things that (developmentally speaking) ought to happen that don’t. For instance, any sustained sense of emotional disconnection with the parenting figure – which can often happen when the parent is excessively stressed or preoccupied over a period of time – has the capacity to have this sort of impact, especially if the child is constitutionally very sensitive. In a stressed society like ours, with fewer and fewer supportive resources for parents, this is more and more common.
So many of us, whether or not we were acutely traumatized or faced extreme adversity as kids, have these sorts of lingering challenges to contend with. We can and should be grateful things weren’t worse, but we shouldn’t discount or minimize the pain we carry from childhood even if it didn’t result from severe neglect or abuse….. Dr. Gabor Mate
it has been an intense and adventurous week. more accurately, it’s been a ride. it feels as if life has sped up and changes are flying by like the reading of possible side effects of a new drug during a pharmaceutical commercial.
thank you universe for offering me a sped up version of change happening in my life. it’s dreamlike.
also very dreamlike were the last few days and the passing of prince. it is fairly clear to me that he was yet another casualty in the plague that is prescription drugs. but even that does not overshadow the abundance of joy and inspiration that he gifted to us here on earth after his departure.
i never felt connected to prince after about 1983- i loved “little red corvette” “let’s go crazy”, “1999” and “controversy”. but i enjoyed his persona and his gender-fluidity..